Dietversary

 Yes, you will fart accidentally on the treadmill and try to run away

A year ago today life was pretty different. I was at school doing A-Levels, I had long ombre hair, ‘chocolate’ was my only food group, and I was over 2 stone heavier. Now I’m at Uni with short floofy brown hair (aka: it’s really hard to straighten at the back), I’m trying to maintain a pretty balanced diet, and I’m over 2 stone lighter.

Exhibit A 

PSA: For anyone reading this who is sick of me talking about my diet and weight blahblahblah, then read no further. Find another way of procrastinating (I’d personally recommend Ellen’s Youtube channel, those genius kids blow my mind.)

If you’ve got onto this next paragraph then maybe you’re interested in what I have to say (or it’s 1am and you’re simply scrolling on your phone, too tired to switch it off). I’m not going to be talking about how amazing I’ve been at never touching sugar again. I’m not going to lie and say I exercise every day of the week. I’m not going to say cutting chocolate sorts out every other aspect of your life. None of that’s true, and I’m not a clean-eating guru or whatever you call them. Instead I’m just going to truthfully look back at a year of trying to maintain healthy eating and weight loss, the ups and the downs. Also, yolo, I’ve done some little drawings coz it’s not like I have exams in a few weeks or anything (woops).

My starter, main course, and dessert in Sixth Form

It’s ok to take a break. For the first few months of The Diet, I was pretty angelic. I think I was probably quite annoying at social functions, I didn’t touch any sugar or most carbs. It was important to me for those months to prove to myself that I could do it. I was worried that if I let any sugar pass my lips all my resolve would go and I’d fail. It was the right decision then because it allowed me to lose the majority of the weight pretty fast. But after a while, it became clear to me that that wasn’t always necessary. I can take breaks here and there, like when I go on holiday, and know that I’ll be able to get back on the Diet Horse (that’s a metaphorical horse, not a horse that is on a diet because that would probs be quite a thin horse and not gonna lie would you really wanna get on a thin horse?) I've learned not to be too hard on myself, if my diet slips or I can't get to the gym one week, it's okay. Just learn to get back on that horse and not leave the stable altogether (I think I may have killed this metaphor). 

The metaphorical Diet Horse. In reality, I would deff need a stool to get on a horse. 

Flat Mates Come in Handy. If you are trying to attempt a hardcore diet, chances are you won’t really own any crappy foods. Luckily, this strategy works 98% of the time… but just occasionally, your eyes may wander to another cupboard… Not that this is from personal experience or anything, but some flat mates may have Nutella and some may have Coco Pops, and if they happen to fall onto your spoon or into your bowl, that’s really their fault for not locking it away. Right?

Real Photograph from the Bristol Coco-Pops Heist of 2017

Fat photos are hilarious. One of the best things about losing weight is looking back at old photos and seeing how humungous your face used to be or how your thighs used to take up an entire sofa. Most people say ‘that was just a bad angle, you didn’t even look like that at the time’ which is probably true… But you’ll enjoy telling yourself you did have cheeks the size of small children, coz it makes all the dieting and exercising even more worth it.

When coordination escapes you and a simple leg stretch makes you realise your legs are part flamingo 

Other girls in the gym are the bane of my life. Speaking of exercise, going to a Uni gym has been quite a culture shock. It’s really hard at the beginning, walking in and seeing hundreds of girls my age all with harder degrees, better bodies and Mo Farah level stamina. Yes, there will be moments when you get flustered in the mat section, forget how to do this leg stretch and end up just bobbing around like a flamingo. Yes, you will fart accidentally on the treadmill and try to run away (let’s just forget I admitted that, shall we). Yes, you will think it’s a good idea to leave your glasses in the locker and spend the entire time squinting at everyone in case you know them (you don’t know them, but they now know you as the weird farty squinty girl). Buttt (I swear I’m reaching a point here) you’ll feel pretty proud of yourself when you reach a new personal best like running for longer, lifting more weights, or remembering that stretch. Everyone has different goals and you just have to be pleased when you reach yours. 

But, overall, I’ve managed. I’ve actually almost made it through the first year of Uni and survived the dreaded Fresher Fifteen. My mindset about health and fitness has genuinely changed over the past 12 months. I’ve made it through intimidating gyms and Coco Pop heists (fine, I’ll admit it was me, but I bought him another box). I’ve managed to maintain my loss of over 2 stone and I’m continuing to gym (although now I’ve admitted certain things, I hope they'll let me back in). So here’s to another year ahead…

 Check out me trying to sound knowledgable about gymming in this other post...