We Got Kittens! Week 1

Yep, you heard correctly, folks. We – the family renowned for never having pets, not even a goldfish- have got pets. Two of them to be precise. Meet Pink and Floyd, our 9 week old kittens.

Pink and Floyd

For all of my 20 years of life, my parents have resolutely vowed to never let us have pets because they were sure they’d end up doing all the work once the novelty wore off. This is entirely unjust. I bought a collar and lead for my Bear Factory dog and dragged it around the kitchen floor every day for walkies. My favourite Barbie ever was the one where her dog poos and you pick up the little blobs with a magnetic poo shovel. To this day, I will always ask my friends if I can pick up the poo when we take their dogs for a walk. If that isn’t commitment I don’t know what is. (Please note: the theme here is how committed I am to pets, and not how obsessed I am with dog poo.)

It quickly became clear they now owned our house.

Anyway, the ‘rents finally gave in when our family friends’ cat had a litter and two adorable kittens were up for grabs. Here’s a run down of everything I’ve learned this first week.

PetsAtHome is my new shopping obsession. Who knew there was this whole elite world of pets accessories that I’ve never been apart of? It was like going to Primark for the first time and realising just how much money you could waste on crap in one single shop. When I went to get supplies the day before the kittens arrived, I felt like, for want of a better phrase, the cat that got the cream. There is so much to choose from! I had written on my list ‘scratch post’ and did not expect to be confronted with an entire aisle of scratch palaces. There was one installation with a hammock and an array of tunnels that was genuinely £100. I’ll admit it took me a few seconds to convince myself not to get it. I mean, they can’t have a fancier bedroom than I do. I did buy an adorable set of kitten toys but was annoyed at myself for automatically going for the pink set. Next time I go I’m definitely getting the blue ones, no traditional gender roles for my kittens, no thank you.

The Bishops Avenue of the cat world. 

Writing their names on forms is adorable. Whether it be your new PetsAtHome loyalty card or signing them up to the vet, writing Pink and Floyd in the name box never gets old.

Getting them in the carry case is traumatic. Especially when there’s two of them. Pink is by far the friendlier one and was quite happy to be plopped in. Floyd, on the other hand, went absolutely mental because she hates being touched, let alone shoved in a cage. Her hissing, biting and scratching eventually set Pink off too.  (Trying to think of a metaphor here I've come up with Ms Trunchbull's spikey cupboard in Matilda which is a bit rogue but I'm shoving it in here anyway). 

Sharing does not seem to be caring. Despite the fact the sisters clearly love each other a lot (they nap cuddled up together which is 15/10 on the adorable ratings), they are unable to share food. Well, more precisely, Floyd is quite happy to share but Pink, on the other paw, growls whenever Floyd tries to eat next to her. Pink also seems to never lose her appetite and will eat when: she feels happy, she feels stressed, she sees Floyd eating, she passes the food and thinks ooh is it that time again? 

Much more interested in the stairs than they are in me

I know this is pretty much a known fact but everything smells. I knew it in theory, but the real stench of a room where they eat little cubes of fish and meat and then proceed to poo it out a metre away is actually hard to fully describe.

I’m a psycho mum. Yep, I always thought I’d be chilled, but turns out, I’m the type of mum who will call up the school everyday to check my kids are wearing sun cream, even in winter. I’m genuinely terrified all the time that something bad will happen to them. Even though they are currently just in a few rooms, with no exists, I keep getting into my head they’ve jumped out a –closed- window. The other day I found Pink sleeping but woke her up to check she was still alive.

Fleas are the worst. I didn’t want to believe that my little fluff balls could have actual parasites on them, but after watching them scratch for a few days, the truth was unavoidable. We gave them a pill which makes them scratch loads and then all the fleas fall out. Having to do this then freak them out with the vacuum cleaner was probably equivalent to my mum reassuring me it was for my own good when she had to scrape my scalp for lice everyday in Year 2. Still don't think either of us are over that trauma.

Taking a selfie with a kitten is harder than it seems...

So that’s it for my first week with my kittens. I’ve turned into a nervous wreck. Pink is chilled and cuddly but also potentially has an eating problem. Floyd is still shy and not cuddly but she killed a huge spider the other day in one swipe and ate it so she’s clearly going to be a badass. And scratching for fleas has left them comfortably numb. [1]

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[1] Please note, if you don’t get this reference. Look up Pink Floyd before coming to meet our kitties or they’ll be offended.

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MoMA in Melbourne

The exhibition forces you to question the real impact of famous artworks in the flesh. 

Promising to bring the magic of the iconic Museum of Modern Art from New York to Melbourne is no small feat, and one that could easily have fallen short of expectations.

Opening on June 9^th, the National Gallery of Victoria’s ‘MoMA at the NGV, 130 Years of Modern and Contemporary Art’ features around 150 works transported from the States, many of which have never been seen before in Australia. MoMA is renowned worldwide for its unparalleled collection of artworks from the seminal moments in modern art. From the most recognisable Pop Art pieces to priceless Cubist works, it has long been understood that MoMA is the place to visit for modern art enthusiasts. Finally Australian art lovers were promised an insight into this collection.  The queues snaking back from the exhibition entrance prove just how exciting this concept is.

Outside the National Gallery of Victoria

Displayed chronologically, the exhibition begins in the early 1900s with the likes of Futurist artist Umberto Boccioni. A piece so involved with concepts of fluidity through air and multi-dimensional movement, his 1913 sculpture Unique Forms of Continuity in Space can only fully be appreciated in person. Being able to view it from every possible angle, walking around it, experiencing it how it was intended, is evidence enough for the importance of the travel of MoMA’s collection. 

Boccioni, Unique Forms of Continuity in Space, 1913

Arguably some of the most famous pieces, and ones that will surely draw the most foot-traffic include Mondrian’s Composition in Red, Blue, and Yellow, Dali’s The Persistence of Memory, and Andy Warhol’s Marilyn Diptych. With artworks such as these, which have been mass-produced in so many forms, it is quite surreal – no pun intended- to see the originals in the flesh, up close. For example, it is shocking how small Dali’s piece is when it has made such an impact on visual culture, reproduced as 3D clocks, tattoos and graffiti. Seeing it in the flesh, you are forced to look at it for what it actually is, a small oil painting, rather than the legacy it has left in pop culture.

With De Chirico, The Melancholy of Departure, 1914 

Perhaps that is really the great theme of this exhibition, questioning the real impact of famous artworks in the flesh. These are pieces that rarely leave the walls of their New York museum, and therefore are most commonly experienced through reproductions or through a screen. Seeing them, transported across oceans, viewers must question how their meanings change when experienced in reality. How does the size and texture of Claes Oldenburg’s fan become eroticised when seen up close? How does the impact of Martha Rosler’s iconic feminist Semiotics of the Kitchen change when seen on a 1970s TV screen? How do Mark Rothko’s huge blocks of colour develop new shapes and depth when viewed with your own eyes rather than a camera’s?

The display of Martha Rosler's Semiotics of the Kitchen, 1975

The success of the NGV’s collaboration will surely have an impact on how modern art is experienced in Australia for years to come.

MoMA at the NGV is at the National Gallery of Victoria, Melbourne until 7th October 2018. 

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3 Days in Cairns

 Fish have whole other respiratory organs to do what we are doing with a plastic tube

The trip didn't start too well. Our flight from Melbourne was at 7, so, of course I woke up at 3am panicking we wouldn't make it. Leaving Camilla sleeping, I ordered an extortionately priced Uber to the airport at 4am. My Uber driver was actually from Cairns and we had a great chat about his home town. But then he asked "so when's your flight? 5.30?" But nope, Mr Uberman, you have clearly underestimated my travel anxiety. Yep, I decided to leave 3 hours wiggle room for a domestic flight. 

Anyway after meeting up with Camilla when she arrived at the airport at 5.30 like a normal person, we were off.

Embracing our first rays of sun after escaping the rain in Melbourne 

We stayed at Gilligan's, which is known as the party hostel. Never having stayed in a hostel (always been more of an overpacked-suitcaser than a backpacker), I had very low expectations. I was picturing rodents and bugs everywhere, with pick pockets hiding under your bed and people having sex behind every corner.

Home Sweet Home 

I was pleasantly surprised. Although Gilligan's is above an incredibly trashy club (think Blurred Lines playing during a wet t-shirt competition, a casino attached to the main room, and a Bingo Lingo so sexist it puts England's to shame), it was actually pretty clean and had a really friendly atmosphere.

We also used Gilligan's travel agency to help plan and book our day trips. For our first day we went to the Great Barrier Reef with Passions of Paradise (not as telenovela as it sounds). The journey there was very choppy, with Camilla and I clinging desperately to our benches. Greta spent the journey bouncing around saying she could spend a year on that boat, to which I said I'd pass, thanks v much.

Shout out to Greta embracing Moana vibes, whilst I tried not to vom. 

When we finally got to the reef it was stunning. We stopped at two spots to get in and snorkel. I've snorkelled once before in Israel where I got so distracted by the fish that I put the whole snorkel underwater, breathed in and got a mouth full of sea water. In my defence, snorkelling is a super weird experience!! Your whole life you swim holding your breath and being aware that you'll have to resurface soonish to get air. Then suddenly boom, you're told 'forget all that- it's all good, breathe normally in the middle of the ocean surrounded by fish that actually have whole other respiratory organs to do what we are doing with a plastic tube.'

Looks like I'm posing but this is genuinely me trying not to get face whipped by my hair in the wind 

Luckily, I chilled out after a bit and got the hang of it and managed to get a great view of one of the 7 natural wonders of the world. The water was amazingly clear and was a perfect temperature the day we went. The coral was maybe a bit of a duller colour than you'd see in pictures but the fish were actually much brighter than I'd expected. We also spotted a few turtles, reef sharks and sting rays, but I must say I did a hasty doggy paddle away whenever the bigger fish got a smidge too close.

Let's just ignore that I'm wearing a float belt... 

(Also shout out to the Passions crew who unexpectedly stopped twice on the way back. First to rescue a small boat that had run out of fuel and then to pick up a huge piece of plastic floating in the water. Not all heroes wear capes, folks.)

The next day trip was to rainforests and waterfalls around Cairns. The tour was run by Uncle Brians and our guide was Sid. We were in a group of about 12 people, all traveling in our 20s which was a really nice crew.

This lake has a crocodile in it who supposedly doesn't eat humans but I decided to not take that plunge...

Sid showed us around, simultaneously being entertaining and terrifying, showing us all the many things that can kill you in Queensland, like the Wait-a-while tree, so named because of its tiny spikes hooking into your skin meaning you'll have to wait a while to get out.

Thanks for capturing this attempt at a dive that turned into a face plant 

Sid was also helpfully around to snap photos of me falling, slipping and generally embarrassing myself at various moments int he trip, thanks for that. 

This helpful Nemo preserves a smidge of my dignity whilst showing this stunning facial expression

One of the highlights was definitely Josephine Falls which has such smooth rocks on the waterfall that you can slide right down it. Despite both Greta and I bruising our bums in the process, it was still amazing.

Tips for anyone considering doing this trip--- bring extra clothes and good towel!!! The water was pretty damn cold in some places and, spoiler alert, a $9 piece of fabric disguised as a towel will be completely useless.

"Quick, it's Golden Hour!!" 

After the aforementioned bruises and doggy paddling, we were pretty exhausted on day 3 and took a well deserved break for sunbathing. (Yet another spoiler alert for readers back home, drumroll please... I failed at tanning. I have potentially become paler.)

Amazing food (and aesthetic, obvs) at Lafew Cafe & Kombucha Bar

Our last night out was at Woolshed. Sorry Gilligan's, we love you, but Woolies is the better club. But of course, all nights could always be improved by a lil bit of sexist bingo.

Free drinks from Gilligan's... alas, not enough to make us enter the wet t-shirt contest

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A Week In Tasmania

The city girl within me got more and more terrified as the bars on our mobiles faded away 

Going to Tasmania, I’d anticipated wild animals, mountainous hikes, unpredictable weather and stunning views. And I was right.

Tasmania is all of those things, but until you’ve been (or read a blog by someone whose been, thank you) it’s hard to really imagine. For most people outside Australia, Tasmania just conjures up images of the Tasmanian devil (both cartoon and real). Until coming to Australia I hadn’t thought much about it at all, and knew it just as the little island underneath the big island. But when I heard it being described as the cheaper New Zealand, it seemed like a good option for mid-semester break.

Our Route 

 We started our trip on the west side, which has been described by Discover Tasmania.com as ‘one of Australia’s last true wilderness frontiers.’ It’s an incredibly pretentious sounding statement, but I have to say it sums it up pretty well. The London city girl within me got more and more terrified as we progressed down the road from Launceston into the rainforests of the west. As the bars on our mobiles decreased and faded away, I knew I wasn’t in Kansas…my comfort zone… wifi reception…a city anymore.

Height of fashion on Cradle Mountain 

On our first night in rural Tassie we drove around in the dark for a few hours searching for a campsite. Driving at night around Tassie isn’t recommended because of the wild animals. A sad reminder of this was the amount of roadkill lining the way. Me being me, I’d downloaded an app to help find free campsites. But, alas, Android being Android, it didn’t work and helpfully sent us into the middle of a horse paddock. We finally found a place and I promptly had my first experience with boiling water to make in sanitary (rather than relying on a helpful tap).

The next day was Cradle Mountain where we were greeted by torrential rain. The walk round the lake, however, was beautiful and we spotted a few rainbows. The hike to the summit was less my forte as it involved scrambling over rocks uphill. We couldn’t actually get to the summit because the weather was so bad but I wasn’t particularly complaining about our decision to abort mission. Instead, we did a Wombat walk which was adorable (and, yay, no rock scrambling.)

Wombat Walk

The drive down to Hobart the next day was pretty stunning. There are so many terrains in Tasmania that we were driving through a green countryside one minute and surrounded by dark orange woodland the next. We had more of a city-day, getting a lunch by the harbour and visiting the botanical gardens. To my delight dismay, there aren’t camping options near Hobart so we had no choice but to rent cabins for the night. Such a shame of course to sleep with a roof over our heads and on mattresses.

Museum of Modern Art 

Wednesday was also spent in Hobart, visiting MONA, the massive, world-famous art gallery in Tassie. As this is an art blog, I’ll probably do a more thorough write up of it at some point, but in summary: vaginas, tattoos, Madonna, and lots of art. Would hugely recommend.

Of course no day is complete with just culture, so we headed to Mount Wellington and did a short walk around it. As it was all horizontal, and I didn’t have to lift my leg near my chin to climb it, there were no complaints from me.

The penal colony at Darlington 

We spent the night in Triabunna which is a great little coastal town with a supermarket!! (Not that I spent most of the western side looking for signs of civilisation or anything.) From Triabunna, we caught the boat to Maria Island, which is a stunning national park full of wildlife as well as having one of the best preserved convict probation stations in Aus. It doesn’t have any roads so the only way to get around is mountain biking. Which sounds all great at first.

And then you realise you haven’t really cycled since Amsterdam a year ago. And Amsterdam is tarmacked, not sand and mud. And, to be honest, Amsterdam hurt your bum too.

Painted Cliffs in Maria Island 

Yeah, so… um… I personally loved the cycling part. My thighs, bum, back, hands and shins didn’t. I mention shins because they probably got the worst bruises. Not because I fell off the bike. But because I kept dropping it onto myself as I walked it back.

Relief after surviving the bikes on Maria Island

Needless to say, I spent a few hours waiting for the others back at Darlington, the historical township on the island. On the bright side, I now know a lot about the history of the place so hit me up for any fun facts about the convicts there.

Freycinet

We all somehow survived the cycling and lived to see the next day, which we spent in Freycinet, a beautiful national park encompassing Wineglass Bay and the Bay of Fires, two must-see sights in Tassie. We did a hike for a few hours which was pretty manageable (despite how out of breath I was) and well worth the views. The others decided to climb Mount Amos as well, but I was scared off by the signs yelling DON’T CLIMB UNLESS YOU’RE AN EXPERIENCED HIKER. Which, as you may have guessed, I am not.

Bay of Fires

For the final day, we started winding back round to Launceston to catch our flight home. On the way we stopped off at St Columba falls, another example of the different terrains to be found here. Then I finished the trip by finally purchasing a t-shirt with Tasmanian Devils on it. Yes, it is made for a child, but as the saying goes, if the top fits, you buy it.

Walking to St Columba Falls

St Columba Falls

 We really did get to see so much in such a short time, it’s well worth a visit. And on the bright side, despite my constant terror of most forms of wildlife there, I didn’t actually get bitten by anything…

Nope, that happened back in Melbourne two days later. When I was bitten by a spider in our garden…

The Aftermath. 

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